Just slowly...

Slowly every step i take will be a new beginning.
Slowly i will lose you my friend.
Slowly you might come to me and make everything fit.
Slowly my life just feels like a joke.
Slowly they will forget me, their friend.
Slowly i feel you won't mean anything to me.
Slowly the pain will just fade away and everything will feel better.
Slowly i will find that special someone.
Slowly i will build that bridge to the one i love.
Slowly reality will just disappear.
Slowly my life will have meaning.
Again.

My mental blog

FML.

yes! I've contracted conjunctivitis and both my eyes are blood-shot-red!
it's the first time ever i've been absent from school ever since i started poly.
been on MC for 4 days! My right eye is badly swollen and hurts like mad!

I haven't blogged for ages, cos well... i haven't had the time!
last night before i slept. my mind was going wild!
it was like i was blogging in my mind the words flowed out uncontrollably.
if only i could blog in my head. like a mental blog?
i would blog almost everyday.
and my post would actually make sense.
bleak.

school is of course bleak.
it just makes me wonder why i even bothered studying so hard for my Os to get in a bloody course that will eventually kill me after 3 years? considering the fact i have been burning out brain cells and whatever i have left of them and killing myself day by day without proper sleep and without a life!
ok! that's a lie cos technically i do have a life all thanks to my homies.without them i won't survive a day living.
so that's said and done i have died these 4days being at home.without friends.
I can't wait to get back to school, but i'll be wearing my shades for a while more since this sore eyes thingy last for about 2 weeks.

Talking about friends.i will officially have no friends in class next semester. cos my only 3 friends i have in class are all going to bloody Wuhan! i will therefore have no motivation or reason what-so-ever to come to school.the pain of loneliness is already kicking in these past few days.hopefully my class will combine with another class.one that i actually have friends in.people i can actually have a proper conversation with.

It's just well... 3/4 of the people in my semester are highly bleak.and i can't talk to them.
You know there are some people you can talk to and just some people you can't.
So yeah! That's mostly the weird people in my semester. Some i don't even know exist!

Eme wants mentioned that in some way or another how they split the class this semester worked well, cos now we're all friends and we're all close and we're all one gang:)

But now it really sucks! sucks big time!
How to survive? How am i suppose to put on a smile everyday to school without lying to myself that i am...
not happy. not comfortable. not satisfied. not myself:(

I fancy quotes like this...
"Destiny is the bridge we build towards the one we love"

univerSEE by cheena girl

Joke of today : "univerSEE"

I was innocently doing work in the school library with bunny and em when i foamed to death.
well, okay! i didn't exactly die since i'm posting this.
It was highly bleak.
I swear it's over! you will laugh and foam to death........

There were 3 cheena girls sitting at the table next to us in the library,
and they had a debate on how to spell the word UNIVERSE.
*imagine 3 girls with dam cheena voices talking, adds more effect to the joke.trust me.lols*

Cheena girl #1: Eh how to spell "Universe"? *typing on laptop*

Cheena girl #2: U.N.I.V.E.R.S.E ?

#1: Isn't that univerSEE?

Cheena girl #3 : No la it's correct.

#1 : Sure not? i thought got one "AL" ?

#3 : That is "universAL" la!

*i starred at them in shock and foamed to death*

ohmylord. bless their souls!

WebDesign Again! It's OVER!

IT'S OVER! -they even wrote a song about it:)
Though this epic song was composed and has been playing on my itunes ever since the first few weeks of school. I seriously think it is relevant right now!

Its Over - Bryan and LingLing

My life is one big mess
My friends they couldn’t care less
So I’m hold up in my room
And I’m feeling really blue
And I got no one to talk to
Oh I say

It’s over, it’s over
I swear it’s over now
No one gives a fuck about me
No one cares, no one knows
It’s bleak

I go to school, the guys think I’m fat
Always the outcast, so I hang with my cat
So I’m eating comfort food
All alone in the loo
And I got no one to talk to
Oh I say

It’s over, it’s over
I swear it’s over now
No one gives a fuck about me
No one cares, no one knows
It’s bleak

An epic pandemic has broken out
There’s swine flu and people are foaming at their mouths
& The world is fast dying and here I am whining
How my life it’s fail

It’s over, it’s over
I swear it’s over now
No one gives a fuck about me
No one cares, no one knows
It’s bleak

"incapable love"

Gin Tonic. It is totaly over...

"Eme's Post Bday Drinking Party"

WASUUPPP MY NIIGGGAAAZZZ???!!
Tonight is the night man!
YO HO BRO!

This Bday Beast Only said the same thing the whole night,
"One more shot, one more shot...come on man! For me! Drink more drink more!
GIN TONIC! *shoves cup full of ^T#(*@^#* gawdknowswhat alcohol mixture down others' throat* Don't be pussy man! My Birthday guys":)

This fella.
Epic.
ScoreScore.
hhhooohhuuhhhtttwwhooooott.
^#(^#(!^(!)^#)^#)#!#&@($%^*

first to go.
first to throw up.

thanks to this fella.
*likes picture*
gin tonic.
i will never touch or more like refuse to touch.
thinking of it makes me want to throw up.

i shall proudly admit that i was the loser.
the last to down gin tonic.
the very first drink last night.
and may i repeat it was 10pm and withing the hour.
goneness.

"say i'm a bird, say i'm a bird"

Well, we all knew EME was gone.
this is the result.
topless in the diving pool.
followed by the rest jumping onr by one.
security guard threatened to call the police.
so we headed up back to ej's hse where the stoning and eating
and may i repeat SEXUAL talks started.
totally over.
we are horny as cows can get.
not wait.
you guys at the table.
all the innocent ones please sit one side.

"How can you'll traumatize a kid like me?"- Danny

Trying...

try |trī|
verb ( tries, tried)
1 [ intrans. ] make an attempt or effort to do something

Yes! TRY!
I don't why i even try?
Why i even bother to try so hard?
It just makes everything all worst.
Makes me feel unwhole.

I put on a mask to be happy everyday!
Just to please others.
Cos you know me i hate EMOness.

I did the facabook quiz on how much happiness i have in life.
The result : 110% Happiness??!!!!

Yes! I am happy most of the time.
But only one thing will fulfill my true happiness.

One thing.

You are my entity...

shouldhavewouldhavecouldhave

need to concentrate.
need to stop thinking about you.
need to get my act together.
need to get my assignments done.
need to kiss wing now (wing)
need to know what i really want.
need to not talk to you for the next few days.
need to think more.
need to reflect.
need to save money.(for bangkok)
need to prepare for the real world.
need to go to zouk. (holidays)
need to drink and party. (holidays)


need to get a life.
need to get a love life.
need you in my life.

Armageddon...2012

"Armageddon: (in the New Testament) the last battle between good and evil before the Day of Judgment."

Sounds like a plan guys...
What are the odds?:):):)

Happy shalala! It's so nice to be Happy:) Shalala...Everybody should be happy:)...

According to GODKNOWSWHO? the end of the world is 24th December 2012.
Therefore people, we only have about 2.5 years to live!
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!

Me,em and bunny spoke about this during lunch today! What if the world really does end guys??!! NOOOOOO.... I have yet to experience my life yet alone a happy one!
We went through total depression over the conversation.Bunny really gets sensitive about these topics!

Will there really be a judgement day?! Are we really going to die?!

Oh wells, it still doesn't beat how happy i am today:):):)
Thanks YJ for being my part-time EFF BFF in replacement of Mir!
IMISSSYOUMARISSAMIR......come back to me:)


"Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good"

Take my hand...Take the lead...

"Take my hand, take a breath
Pull me close and take one step
Keep your eyes locked on mine,
And let the music be your guide.
Won't you promise me (now won't you promise me, that you'll never forget)
We'll keep dancing (to keep dancing) wherever we go next
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance
Take my hand, I'll take the lead
And every turn will be safe with me
Don't be afraid, afraid to fall
You know I'll catch you through it all..."

Danny asked me yesterday how i feel. what i feel whenever i see youknowwho.
my reply: okay i'll let you know later when i meet him.
but my reply used to just simply be, HE GIVES ME BUTTERFLIES whenever i see him:)
Now, i feel breathless, butterflies in my tummy, heart beating like never before...i feel HAPPY:)

"Omg! We are the only ones left, they're all attached, we need to find people! Don't ever leave me okay?"-oh gosh danny! spasming away!

ry&nigel:)
mir&yj:)
eme&ej:)
vans&kit:)
nat&hers:)
.....who else.....

pause.
okay time for me to spasm as well....

We only have like one and half years to find our fish. *cue: The Fish will turn into a Dragon*
Worst, we only have like about 5 years more to find our soul mate. the person i am going to spend the rest of my life with:( Totally over guys!

"You know there's always this woman in the office who's proud and bitchy and successful and rich but not married? Yes i am going to be that woman! The one who is successful but no life. No love life"-Bunny

Why is everything moving so fast? Why is time flying? Why? Why?
I just want it all to stop or at least pause for awhile.just awhile.i need a man.totally!

"germaine please come back to me"-eff bff

Monday blues and nothing to do...

I had a wicked ass dam shagged weekend.
It's monday again, and i feel happy being back in school cos i get to see you guys ( the most important people in the world) my friends:)

Friday after school had picnic with my lovelies:)
Saturday was super shagged had only 3.5 hours of sleep the night before and still got my ass down for KC FAMILY DAY! and then headed again to town to watch The Singapore Arts Festival- Arts on the move. I seriously sleep on the steps along orchard road.highly bleak! i couldn't take it, i return home to hear,My Mother: "Oh you have finally decided to return home? You finally found your home?" (okay! my bad i didn't go home for the past 48 hours and considering the fact that earlier in the week i was not home for 3 nights! All thanks to bloody webdesign.was this close to having a breakdown)
Sunday morning got my ass to church for mass. (i need to be holy.i have to be holy) And again out and about to Toa payoh Hub, Orchard & Esplanade to catch SAF and squeezed Little India in to get out eyebrows done:) I am finally satisfied!:) We watched "THE DIAMOND" performance last and got a couple of interviews for the day. We ended up heading to the Esplanade rooftop to get a nice view. We layed there on the hard wooden pathway and watched the dark sky pass by us and there wasn't many stars last night. Though the feeling of just watchign the emptiness of the night pass by and having to not feela anything was serene...

Monday Blues and nothing to do...

I just had a revelation about someone.
could it be true?
can the kitty kat be trusted?
how can you be so close to someone and yet not know this fact?
okay, maybe i discovered it awhile ago? but what am i suppose to say?how am i suppose to respond to it? maybe i should just block it out??!!!
i've heard others talking about it.
the kitty kat is so superficial.the people it hangs around with are also very. i repeat very. superficial.
well, the kitty kat will never understand the true meaning of friendship until it is lost.

"True friendship is like sound health,
The value of it is seldom know until it is lost."

I don't want this to be another mj situation. Please:(
I have faith in you.
Pexp.

I feel happy when i look into your eyes:)
Keep me feeling happy:)